In the heart of Madhya Pradesh, I live around Kasturba nagar nestled close to the centre place Maharana Pratap Nagar. It’s a pretty middle class neighbourhood with recent commercialisations in the form of coaching centres, PG hostels etc. I was born and brought up here and studied in an All-girls Missionary school. Amongst the few posh neighbourhoods of the city lies what is called the Char Imli. Though it sounds nothing to indicate, It is the place where the residences of IAS, IPS officers and ministers of the state are located. My father would take me around the city in Parks, to the Lake and other areas. While on long drives, we would go around the green and clean roads of Char Imli and imagine how life is for the officers and how their work profile impacts so many lives. ( Now I can say it's not as rosy as it seems rather quite difficult.) So While the distance between Kasturba Nagar and Char Imli was merely 3-4 kms, the psychological distance in my head was truly immense. So much so, it almost became an aspiration.
My family is native to Maharashtra but my grandfather settled in Bhopal because of his job. Nobody in the immediate family was in government Service when I started preparing. At that time, my father worked in a private company and had a touring job. And mother took up several odd jobs to support the family financially. Back in school, this dream might have crept up sometime, when the Bhopal Collector visited our school for some function. The only idea I had in my head at that time, was that an IAS is respected and he or she does something for the people. Nothing more nothing less. I had no clue which exam to give but only knew that I had to do engineering and then try becoming an IAS.
When It came to my higher education, I settled for a local private college and took admission in chemical engineering. This was mainly because of the huge expenses the family would incur in sending me out of town for studies. From then on, it was either continuing in a job of my field, doing masters or chasing the IAS dream.
Over time, I had heard that Delhi was the Mecca of UPSC preparation, but it was out of reach at the moment. For a middle class family, such dream was too big to be true, but my parents supported me and financed my classes at a coaching centre. I felt, if I couldn't go to Delhi, I should do something ASAP to help myself. I used to attend college from 9 to 5 and then rush to the class till 8 pm. Come home, read again till late and get ready next morning. Squeezing time out of the routine was very critical in order to complete the syllabus. Reading newspaper while traveling to college, in lunch breaks and watching Rajya Sabha TV show on the go became a routine.
Several of my relatives had written me off but this, I thought was my only chance to prove them wrong. I struggled a lot emotionally, got detached from my friends and social circles. But it was then that I realised, people can take away their love, respect from you, they can take away your resources and so on, but nobody can take away your knowledge from you. The Knowledge is Power .
After the 7 month classes were done, it was only me and the online resources for preparing at home. Lacking a printer at home, I would spend almost 4 evenings a week to get the notes, tests and materials printed from the local photo copy shop. I searched up all internet and took up any programme which I felt was relevant to support my preparation in any manner. This included skimming through 10's of books of sociology and random news websites. I preferred to study at night munching on snacks and dry fruits, but for some months reversed my schedule and started waking up at 5. This was when I was preparing my optional and that one LBSNAA video ( Hao Dharmete Dheer ) gave me the motivation to wake up early in the morning.! The only thought which used to go in my head was, I should just not miss out on anything and leave no stone unturned. I wanted to give my 200%.
It was the test series I took, which boosted my confidence for both answer writing and prelims papers. Toppers videos, notes and blogs were preparation sources too. It made me aware that I was on the right track and should just continue preparing hard. My college exams were around the corner and there was a 15 day gap between the last semester exam and UPSC prelims. I had written so many answers till then, that Mains paper did not worry me too much. But it was Prelims that I used to be scared about. It's said the harder you work, the luckier you get and It was because of the efforts of the previous year, that I was able to get through Prelims in my first attempt.
After the mains, my mother accompanied me to Delhi for mock interviews. It was there I saw the scale of the exam and the study environment for the first time. Few mock interview panels told it was difficult for me to get through this year and asked several questions around me being young and a lady. It made me quite uncomfortable but I kept believing in my dream. There was no close person who I could approach for any help personally who was in service. So my cousin brother connected me to an IRS officer who was a friend of his. I got to talk to Mam for about 10 minutes and noted each of her point very precisely. I felt so lucky to having interacted with a young officer!
Finally on April 5, 2019, my dream came true. The collector Bhopal ( my idolisation of an IAS officer) congratulated me on phone and I received tons of messages and calls. It was then I realised how much this job is adored and appreciated in our country. It was Gudi Padwa the next day- A new Year according to the Marathi culture. That day, I knew in my heart that the Gap has been breached, the distance covered and a New Year had begun. UPSC preparation is not just about getting a rank and service, it is also about learning some very fundamental principles about life. With this experience, I know for sure that whatever you are willing to achieve will be yours, provided you are determined and persistent in your efforts. Family, Place, Finances, Personal issues just don’t matter. So in reality, It took an effort of around 2 and a half years, numerous sleepless nights and several lonely study days to travel the distance from Kasturba Nagar to Char Imli..! And now I can really say, The harder the journey the sweeter is the destination..!